Just to Feel Alive
by Destined Darkness
Summary: She doesn't know all the wonderful things she's done and she just wants to feel alive. Wow really bad summary...
1. The Edge

HEYO! :D

It was like 12 or something in the morning and I was tired and something popped into my head.

So this is just a one shot. :)

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><p>She's nothing, just a temp from Chiswick, never left home, she's nothing, going nowhere, always going to stay nothing. She doesn't know she's the most important woman in the universe, she doesn't know that there's planets singing her praises, she doesn't know she's brilliant, she's fantastic and she's not allowed to remember, she's not allowed to know, if she knows, she burns.<p>

She rolls out of bed every morning, reluctant, regretful. She puts a smile, an up curved frown, on her face, a mask, a cover. Somehow there's a twinkle in her eyes that always makes it look like they're smiling, they're not. Every morning she looks in the mirror and every morning she absolutely hates what she sees staring back.

She goes through the day, laughing, smiling, joking with everyone around her, but out of sight, out of mind, that laugh becomes a cry, the smile becomes a frown, the joke becomes the hell she finds herself living in.

At night, she wanders the house, unable to find sleep for every time she closes her eyes, she feels as if she's burning. She wanders until she collapses and in the morning, her granddad and her mother carry her back to bed before she wakes up, she never remembers the wandering. Those night time wanderings just add to the list of things she can't remember.

She shouldn't feel happy, standing on the edge of the cliff, looking down at the murky, rocky water below, she shouldn't feel alive, shouldn't feel like she's on top of the world. But she does and she doesn't know why, she doesn't know anything anymore.

She watches the water crashing against the rocks and she wonders how long it takes to hit the water from the cliff. She wonders if it should even matter, if the thought's meant to even register in her mind. She wonders if the shorter the fall the better, she wonders why she's here.

She feels eyes on her, worried and anxious, but she's not scared, panicked, she's going to step back from the edge any moment now, isn't she? Of course she is, she's not stupid, she's not suicidal! She knows she's got plenty to do in life, plenty to look forward to, she knows she's someone in this big world... but does she know? Does she really?  
>She wants to take a step forward, to take the plunge, she wants to, oh how she does, but she can't, she won't, she shouldn't...<p>

She doesn't because she doesn't want to die, she just wants to feel alive, so every day for the rest of her life, she stands at the edge of a cliff, looks down at the water below and contemplates jumping. She never does.

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><p>AN: I think I'm going to do more one shots just about Donna. I find it's fun! :D So anyways. R&R and all that jazz. DD out biatches!


	2. Not Like On TV Or In the Story Books

Ayo! :D Here's the second one shot because I decided to write one shots, they're fun! :D

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><p><em>She<em> was his best friend and _he_ was hers, but she doesn't even know him. It's not like on television, how, because he's a time-traveler, he's just in the wrong time and she hasn't met him yet, because she has met him, she just can't remember. She lost her mind but she's as sane as she ever was, she lost her best friend but she's no sadder than she ever has been.

_He_ was her best friend and _she_ was his, but she doesn't even know him. It's not like in novels, how, if he goes back in time, he can change things because he's a time-traveller. No, he can never change things, can never make them right, can never go back to the times things were good except in his memories, memories she will never remember having. He took her mind but she's as sane as he remembers, he lost his best friend and she's fine, he's not, he never is.

Donna Noble knows, deep down, something is missing, knows she's forgetting something and she gets frustrated with herself that she can never put her finger on it so it goes on bugging her, like the flies you can never seem to get with the swatter. She notices only one change in her life, her mother has stopped making hints that she's useless, has stopped with the subtle digs. Donna Noble likes whatever has changed her mother.

The Doctor knows something is missing and he is frustrated with himself that he knows just what it is. He has noticed the change in his life, a change he always notices, the silence in the Tardis kills him, he's a very chatty guy and he has no one to chat with but the Tardis herself. He's a very chatty guy who's lost his voice, lost his best friend, lost _all_ his best friends. He's cursed and he knows it because somehow he always ends up alone and yet he goes on setting himself up to be hurt all over again without fail.

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><p>AN: *grins* R&R, next one shot will be up when you read this, mostly likely. :D


	3. 2 to Hit the Water,30 to Hit the Bottom

Wello! :D Told yah this'd be here before you knew it :P

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><p>She doesn't know the meaning of fear anymore, she doesn't know it's meant to be a bad feeling, doesn't know it's not meant to make her feel like she's on top of the world, she doesn't know it was never meant to be like this.<p>

She grins as she jumps from the bridge, two seconds is all it takes before she hits the water and the air is forced from her lungs, but she doesn't panic, it takes her about 30 seconds to reach the dirt surface below the water, she pushes herself up and in another 30 seconds she breaches the surface and breathes in the precious air once more.

She laughs as she brings herself to float on the water. She loves this, this feeling of being alive; she loves the beating of her heart in her chest, the feel of air in her lungs, the pumping of blood through her body, the millions of thoughts in her brain. She loves this but she also knows she hates it and she doesn't know why. She feels eyes on her but she doesn't look for them, she's happy and that's all that matters.

Up on the bridge, leaning against the railing, looking down at the woman, his brown eyes sad and longing. He wants to jump off the bridge to join her, he wants to call her name, he wants to go to her, to speak with her. He wants to hear her voice say his name, or one of the other names she has… he stops, corrects himself, the other names she _had _for him, but she will never remember those names, she'll never say them again, not to him, not to anyone and it's all his fault, she gained his memories so he took hers away.

She floats around, happy for a little while longer, but that gaze has her unnerved, just a little bit, the gaze that tells her to run and never stop running, but she gets the feeling she's meant to be running _towards _the gaze not away. She looks up at the bridge, thinks she sees someone stepping back from the railing, she stares at the spot for as long as she can remember but there's nothing there, she sighs and makes her way back to shore.

He sees her look up at the bridge and he steps back from the railing, out of her sight. He stands there for a few moments, silently hating himself. Then he turns away and walks back towards the only companion he has left. He smiles at his Tardis, flicks his fingers and steps inside when the doors open. Once inside, he snaps his fingers again and watches the doors close. In moments that Police Phone Box from the 60s vanishes from the lower decks of the bridge, as if it had never been there in the first place.

Donna Noble does not hear the dematerialization nor does she see it. She returns home that day none the wiser to the old friend who has been watching over her since that fateful day that she can not recall.

She does not know it but he's never going to forget what she can never remember.

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><p>AN: So yeah... R&R or something. DD out biatches!


	4. Not A Straight Line

Heya! Here's the 4th one shot... :D I have no idea why...

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><p>She walks past a man in a long brown coat, hair messy from the wind, he's looking away from her, she likes his dark blue Chucks, there's something about them about this man that makes her smile, she finds she likes him. As she passes him she thinks she hears him say "Stupid apes" but she thinks maybe she misheard because there's no apes around, she shrugs and then he bends down, picks something up, spins on his heel as he stands and taps her on the shoulder. Donna Noble looks into his eyes and she thinks she's falling, drowning in the aged, brown orbs.<p>

"I think you dropped this..." he says, holding up Donna's wallet. Donna blushes, just a little bit, though she will never admit it...

"Oh thanks." She says, rolling her eyes, she takes it back and puts it in her pocket. He goes to say something but then they hear a womans voice,

"Doctor. I got the fish and chips! C'mon!" the Doctor smiles at Donna and then wanders off towards the woman.

"Coming, Rose, my flowerrrr!" he calls flirtatiously as he runs up to her.

"Stoppp iiit!" she says, but she's laughing.

Donna watches them go, she smiles and wonders why she feels she should know him, know them, both of them. She shrugs it off and continues on her way to work.

Time is a mysterious thing, it is not a straight, simple line that's perfectly set out, especially not when the Doctor, or Doctor Donna is concerned. This is why the Doctor should not be surprised when Donna Noble appears in his space-timeship in her wedding gown, but he is and it won't be the last time.

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><p>AN: Uhm... yeah... whatever then...


	5. She's Awake

Like hello! :D I don't exactly know what brought this on :P I guess just my wishes really...

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><p>She breathes deep and she tries to calm down but her mind is burning, everything is burning. She knows things; she spouts random nonsense she never took the time to learn. She's screaming but the cries only come out as random facts she only just learned. She remembers him, she remembers the blue box, she remembers what she became and now she's burning once more.<p>

Her legs give out from under her and now she can barely breathe, she gasps and struggles for the breath that seems to elude her and still she's burning, everything is burning. Tears fall from her eyes, she never even notices. She gasps once more and falls flat on the floor, her body writhing, her brain screaming, burning, exploding, she gives a final strangled cry and then she's gone.

She gasps as she wakes to the world, a pounding in her head and a dread in her heart, she wonders what's happened and then she remembers.

"Oh god…" she breathes as she remembers, as she knows, as she sees everything. She knows she should be dead, knows it's impossible that she's still alive, knows there's no way in hell she couldn't have burned and yet here she is.

"Imma murder that Alien Boy," she grumbles as she pushes herself to her feet.

She doesn't know how she's alive, she doesn't know why, she guesses it's because everything impossible, when around the Doctor, becomes the inevitable.

Donna Noble lives, she lives and she remembers and everyday for the rest of her life, she looks back to the day she remembered, the day she didn't burn, she looks back and she wishes she had because the hell she found herself living in when she couldn't remember, that was heaven compared to the hell she knows now.

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><p>AN: So R&R and all that shite, DD out Biatches! I'm going to Pigfarts, where I will meet Growlus Rumbleroar, Professor Mcgonagills and Slitherus Snake. :D A Very Potter Musical/Sequel reference there...


	6. Broken

Wello! :D (Wello= Well hello. :)) Anyway!

I will write the continued version of She's Awake later on in this one shot thing, but that will be when that bunny happens to bounce across my brain not before. :)

ffn hates me still, it's been about a full month since I received any notification about reviews or new stories or favouriting or anything like that... I don't know if I'm the only one but it is so annoying, this is also why I haven't replied to any reviews because I'm not sure who I've replied to or not and also because I's can't be bothered cos I's a lazy arse Kiwi :)

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><p>She wakes up in the morning and she contemplates just rolling over and going back to sleep, she doesn't though because she has so much to do. She groans and pushes herself out of bed, her body telling her to go back to bed. She can barely hold herself up she's so tired. She knows what this is, she knows about depression, how one of the signs is that no matter how much sleep a person gets they're still tired when they wake up. She thinks maybe that's better than not being able to sleep much at all.<p>

At any given moment, thoughts of suicide rush through her mind and ways for how she could achieve it; bullet to the brain, through the heart, slitting of the wrists, of the Jugular, jumping from the bridge at low tide, hanging... she knows so many ways to do it and she could. She thinks that it would be wonderful for everything to just... stop. Everyday she hears so many people say they have given up on her, everyday she sees the look people give her, the look that says they wish she'd just disappear, leave them alone, everyday she feels so invisible she speaks fast, she speaks loud, she speaks non stop, just so they have no choice but to notice her, to acknowledge her.

She drags herself through the day, completely unsure of why she makes it through to every new morning. She feels so tired, she just wants to rest, but no matter how much she rests she never feels awake. Some feel they're living in a dream, Donna Noble knows she's living a nightmare and she feels as though she's never going to wake up. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, a little voice screams at her that this was not always how things were, that this was not how things were meant to be but she can not remember the time when things were better, when she was truly happy.

This is all she is now, this is all she ever has been, as far as she knows, and this is all she ever will be. Donna Noble is broken and no one can put her back together, not without killing her first, so they just watch, watch her throwing her life away.

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><p>AN: SO yeah, whatever. R&R


	7. Listen to Me

Wello, this is a possible continuation of "She's Awake" showing that words can hurt just as much as sticks and stones.

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><p>"Doctor…" she says<p>

"Donna, listen." He cuts her off but she's not having it. There are tears in her eyes and she's fighting against the sobs that want to come to life.

"No, Doctor, no! _You _listen! You listen to me for once! The very worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend that you place all your trust and your faith in, a friend you believed in from the start, a friend that captured your heart, a friend you'd die for, a friend you wanted to love and appreciate for a lifetime, a friend, a very good friend, a wonderful friend, a best friend. I lost you, Doctor. You did that to me. You hurt me so much! " She stops, takes a breath, a sob escapes her and the Doctor has to fight himself to not pull her into his arms, to hold the broken remains of his best friend.

"Donna…" he says, and his voice, his voice saying her name snaps her back into control.

"I'm not finished, Doctor! Somethings you get used to, like not expecting to run for your life everyday and having nothing to do every night. You get used to not expecting open arms to be there for you when you turn around. You get used to the silence that replaced the small sounds of the one you thought you couldn't live without. Doctor, your thoughts, they echo in my head and there was no one to share them with. Being alone, Doctor, being alone is not horrible, not terrible, no; it's just painful, so very, very painful." She pauses again to scrub away the tears that are falling down her face, tears she promised she wouldn't cry, not anymore.

The Doctor hates himself, he hates what he's done and he just wants to take her in his arms, hold her and tell her everything will be okay now, but he can't, he knows he can't, because it won't.

"You've probably heard this a lot in your life, but, Doctor, sometimes I wish I'd never met you, that way I could close my eyes at night and sleep not knowing someone like _you_ was out there somewhere. I forgot about you for awhile, you did that to me, but then I could see you in my mind and everything, all the times we were happy, they just flashed back into my mind, the pain I thought would go away, only got worse. But, Doctor, I…" she starts to say, he gasps and reaches out to her, knowing what she's going to say, she steps back, his hand closes on empty air.

"Don't, please…" he begs, his voice breaking, she takes a deep breath in and continues as if not interrupted

"…forgive you." She says, she watches the pain and anguish flash across the Doctor's face, she watches how much it hurts him, she watches and part of her feels like it's starting to heal as she knows the Doctor's starting to break.

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><p>R&amp;R :D *prances away*<p> 


	8. How You Feel On the Inside

Wello! :D

Thanks for reviews and stuffs!

Since it's such a beautiful Friday 13 and Rose Day, you's gets an update! :D

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><p><em>Dear Diary<em>

_Yeah, I know I haven't written you since I was what? 5? But I can't do this anymore. People, they're always telling me to smile, like smiling will take away all the pain and anguish. But I've tried it. I've tried hiding my sorrows, covering up the sadness in my smiles, my laughs and I've learned it hurts more to deny what you truly feel in your heart, masks are good for keeping those on the outside from knowing the truth but no matter how hard you try to deny it, you know inside how much you are hurting. _

_Diary, I don't want to be everything to everyone; I just want to be _something_ to someone because I don't feel loved, diary, I go through each day believing no one loves me, it's pathetic and cliché, I know but then… so am I. _

_Diary, I have that feeling where I just I don't want to talk to anyone; I don't want to smile, to fake being happy. But I don't know what is wrong, there's no way to explain this to someone who doesn't already understand that if you could want anything in the world it's to be alone. People, they're not comforting anymore, they just ask because they feel like they have to. When you're alone there's no one to ask what's wrong and there's no one to insist on a proper answer when they feel 'I don't know' is not an adequate one. They don't understand that you feel the way you do just because that's the way you feel. You hope that feeling will pass and you'll go back to being happy and normal and yourself again but until then all you can do is wait and somewhere you stop waiting because who you become is what you have been waiting to stop being._

_This is all so dreadfully depressing but that's who I am now, diary, I'm depressed, I know I am, I need help, I know I do, I just… seeking help means admitting to everyone that something's wrong, seeking help means I've screwed things up again, seeking help means having to listen to people tell me what to do to make things better when I know, somehow, this pain I feel, it's never going to go away. _

_As much as I hate smiling and pretending I prefer that to having to try to explain why I'm sad, when I explain it, no one understands and they don't get that the pain is the only thing telling me I'm still alive when I so wish I was dead, but then, I guess I am, I'm dead on the inside, my body just needs to catch up, maybe someday it will, and maybe by then I'll have found something that truly matters just so it can be taken from me or I from it or... anyway, diary. I have to get going now, I'll write more later, maybe, but then, what's the point in this diary thing anyway? The only one reading this will be me and I already know how I feel so maybe I won't write you later, diary, this may well be the last entry I ever make but whatever, I'm still going now, ciao!_

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><p>AN: R&R And like Donna, I must be going. So Ciao!


	9. The Rope Becomes the Noose

Wello! :D

Sorry if my ficy is making you cry :P

From now on I'm going to try to give a reason for why I wrote the one shot. :)

The Rope Becomes the Noose: This chapter is sort of just about certain things that get missed and how, even as small as they are, they never should have been.

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><p>When the light leaves Donna's eyes, when her smiles become fake and forced, when her laugh becomes a distant memory, when the words "I'm fine." become the most used words in her vocabulary, when it's a mission for her just to get out of bed in the morning, that's when someone, anyone should realize something is wrong, that's when someone, anyone should become the rope she clings to just to survive.<p>

When the light burns bright in Donna's eyes, when her smiles start to become real, when her laugh is the sound heard above all else, when the words "I'm fine." cease to be not so secret code for "I'm really, rather not fine at all.", when she bounces out of bed in the morning, that's when someone, anyone should smile, laugh, indulge her happiness, that's when someone, anyone should become the rock she knows is always there if she has to step out onto murky waters.

When the light starts to fade from Donna's eyes again, when her smiles start to lose that glow, when her laugh starts to be drowned out, when the words "I'm fine." are the first and last words heard from her lips each day, when she refuses to and can't get out of bed in the morning, that's when someone should realize they've seen all this before. This is the time when the rope should not turn into the noose. It's when the rock should not turn into the step that helps her up.

When all light has gone from Donna's eyes, when her smile is nowhere to be seen, when her laugh is silent, when the words "I'm fine." were the last thing heard, when she's not to be found in her bed every morning, that's when someone realizes they were too late.

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><p>R&amp;R<br>A/N: I think I might do another one that is sort of a continuation of this one, that will have the Doctor in it... maybe. :) Anyway, Ciao!


	10. Do I Know You?

Hello, this one shot was actually just a random "OHHH! That's a good idea!" type of thing... I don't actually like this one shot, ain't that a shock? :P

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><p>She sits in the coffee shop, sipping her tea, she looks up as a young woman enters, she frowns as she gets that feeling that she should know this person, the woman sees her and she smiles. Donna smiles back and continues trying to work out if she knows this woman.<p>

She sets her tea down and approaches the lady, who is now sitting at another table with a number. "Excuse me." She says, "Do I know you?" she queries. The lady just smiles at her, and Donna is amazed at how much more dazzlingly beautiful that smile makes the woman look.

"I don't think so. My name's Jenny Anna Molly." She says, offering her hand for Donna to shake, "But I feel as if I knew you from another life." She says that smile still on her face, her blue eyes laughing. Donna shakes her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Jenny. I'm Donna, Donna Noble. Why don't you come and sit with me? We can get to know each other." Donna offers, nodding to her table.

"Alright," Jenny says, picking up the order number and following Donna back to the table.

The two women sit talking, oblivious to the amount of time passing them by, oblivious to the Torchwood team inspecting and claiming the Spaceship parked in the alley at the back of the shop, oblivious to the man running past the coffee shop window in a pinstriped suit and Chuck Taylors, a little doohickey in his hand with one of the tips glowing blue.

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><p>AN: R&R and boredom is bad! :P


	11. Hello, Goodbye

Wello! :D I wanted to have one of those reunion like things where one of the people dies right after or right as they are going to be reunited... so this is the product of that!

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><p>She didn't really know what she was doing when she was racing towards him, she didn't really know what was going on around her, she didn't really know anything except that she just had to get to him, had to tell him, had to let him know… something, she can't remember it now. What was so important to her moments before has been completely erased from her mind.<p>

She breathes in deeply and presses down on the hole in her stomach, she can barely keep on her feet. Everything is blurry but she has to stay standing, has to stay awake.

"DONNNNNNAAAAAA!" she hears someone scream her name, voice so full of anguish, but she can not work out who it is or why the voice sounds so familiar, then a name rushes into her mind.

"D-doctor…" she whispers as the world spins, she's falling and then arms are holding her, carefully lowering her to the ground.

"Donna, shush. Save your breath, save your breath." She hears him say, his hands have gone to the wound and are trying to stop the bleeding, his face is streaked with tears and he's shaking.

"Doctor, I remember. I remember, Doctor." She says smiling, her eyes trying to slip closed but she fights to keep them open.

"No, no, Donna, you have to stay awake now, you have to stay awake. You can't die. No, please." The Doctor sobs, he just wants to save her, he has to save her, she has to live. Her breathing gets more and more laboured.

"Doctor…" she breathes but then she does not breathe in again afterwards, her lifeless eyes stare up at the Doctor as his hearts freeze, they just stop beating but then they start again, as they must and his hands move from pressing down on the fatal wound to wrapping around Donna's still body.

He holds her in his arms and he cries. He does not see the man slip out the backdoor, he does not see the mans smile of triumph, he just sees Donna, her lifeless eyes staring up at him, her smile frozen in place. He does not hear the man leaving, does not hear the man laughing, all he can hear is the gun shot going off over and over again in his mind.

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><p>AN: R&R Either I procrastinate too much or I have wayyy too much time on my hands!


	12. Screaming At the Universe

Wello. This time I just wanted to do a "Haha, in your face" thing cos I's mean that way, this is also a continuation of the Rope Becomes the Noose. :P

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><p>The Doctor steps out of the blue box, he finds himself in a small graveyard in Chiswick, London on the 15 June, 2013. He frowns at his Tardis, wondering why he has been brought here, then he spins around and his legs collapse beneath him. He feels his hearts beating faster and faster but he can't seem to calm them down. He stares at the gravestone in front of him, his mind screaming that his eyes are playing tricks on him, his hearts shattering because there, engraved in gold on black marble, are the words.<p>

_Donna Noble, the most important person in all of creation, she lived her life screaming at the universe because she thought it couldn't hear her. She was taken from our lives June 15, 2009. She will always be remembered. _

The Doctor breathes in heavily and crawls to the headstone, not caring about the mud getting on his clothes. He reaches out and touches the marble; it is cold beneath his hand.

"Oh, Donna, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He whispers, tears falling from his eyes. "You were meant to be safe, you were meant to live." Then he looks up at the sky, out into space, the universe. He looks up and he screams.

The DoctorDonna had her time to scream at the Universe but now it's the Doctor's turn and he's got a lot to get out.

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><p>AN: R&R


	13. Donna Noble

Wello! This one was really just cos I was having a shit day and _needed _to write _something_ so I did! :)

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><p>Donna Noble decides to try something a friend suggested to her; write an acrostic for her name. Donna Noble thinks that yeah, maybe she can do this. She grabs a pen and a bit of paper and writes the letters of her name going down the side of the paper.<p>

_D  
>O<br>N  
>N<br>A_

_N_  
><em>O<br>__B  
><em>_L  
><em>_E_

She then starts making words from the letters, this time writing across the page from the letter.

_D_**ense**  
><em>O<em>  
><em>N<em>**ui**-  
><em>N<em>  
><em>A<em>**lone**

_N_  
><em>O<em>  
><em>B<em>  
><em>L<em>**azy**  
><em>E<em>**rroneous**

When she finishes she puts the pen down, picks the paper up and looks at it.

_D_**ense**  
><em>O<em>**bnoxious**  
><em>N<em>**uisance**  
><em>N<em>**umber**  
><em>A<em>**lone**

_N_**egative**  
><em>O<em>**ppressed**  
><em>B<em>**oisterous**  
><em>L<em>**azy**  
><em>E<em>**rroneous**

She frowns, puts the paper down and picks up the pen again, thinking she should explain what these things mean and why she put them down. So she starts by writing out the meanings.

_D_**ense**: Lacking the ability to understand, stupid.  
><em>O<em>**bnoxious**: Highly offensive, loathsome.  
><em>N<em>**uisance**: An unpleasant and unwanted annoyance.  
><em>N<em>**umber**: A symbol used in mathematics to count or measure.  
><em>A<em>**lone**: To be all by oneself.

_N_**egative**: To be pessimistic, the bad side.  
><em>O<em>**ppressed**: To be burdened or weighed down.  
><em>B<em>**oisterous**: To be loud or disobedient.  
><em>L<em>**azy**: To show a reluctance to move or do something.  
><em>E<em>**rroneous**: To be incorrect or wrong.

She then writes in why she wrote them down.

_D_**ense**: Lacking the ability to understand, stupid. I find I don't understand people, they never turn out to be how I expect them to be and they always surprise me even when I don't think they can.  
><em>O<em>**bnoxious**: Highly offensive, loathsome. I find I offend people a lot, but it's not my bloody fault they are so sensitive.  
><em>N<em>**uisance**: An unpleasant and unwanted annoyance. I find people seem to always be telling me to go away and that I need to stop pissing them off, maybe they just need to be a bit more fun.  
><em>N<em>**umber**: A symbol used in mathematics to count or measure. I find I'm just a statistic, I'm just a number and I will always be a number.  
><em>A<em>**lone**: To be all by oneself. I find I am alone, even when there's people all around me I am alone, I feel like they don't exist for me but they do because I can see them but I'm still alone.

_N_**egative**: To be pessimistic, the bad side. I find I tend to look at the down side of things rather than the up side, I look at a glass full of water and I see a glass half empty.  
><em>O<em>**ppressed**: To be burdened or weighed down. I find the universe, with its gravity and its oxygen and its inability to let me be who I want, is oppressing me.  
><em>B<em>**oisterous**: To be loud or disobedient. I find I never seem to shut up but only because otherwise I might not be noticed or remembered.  
><em>L<em>**azy**: To show a reluctance to move or do something. I find I never seem to want to do anything other than lie around and sleep, it sounds like the better idea.  
><em>E<em>**rroneous**: To be incorrect or wrong. I find I've obviously made mistakes in my life and I've become a mistake because I can not seem to get myself out of the rut I'm in.

She breathes in deeply and lets the air out in a sigh; she doesn't feel any better than she did when she started writing; in fact she feels worse. She crumples up the paper, tosses it into the rubbish bin and goes to lie down on her bed and go to sleep, she's had enough of today and she just wants it to be over.

* * *

><p>AN: R&R


End file.
